If Angels Could Weep Then They Would Cry
by Cerulean Butterfly Lover
Summary: Rodney dies but comes back as a guardian angel because he's really worried about John. Only Elizabeth and John can see Rodney. John and Rodney spend their evenings talking and the flame is rekindled as they discover what might have been can still be.


Title: If Angels Could Weep Then They Would Cry I Love You With Their Tears

Author: Mistress McShep's Cerulean Butterfly Lover

Pairing: McShep

Summary: Rodney dies but comes back as a guardian angel because he's really worried about John. Only Elizabeth and John can see Rodney. John and Rodney spend their evenings talking and the flame is rekindled as they discover what might have been can still be.

Notes:

$is thought$

!is telepathic conversation!

&&is flashback&&

((is Atlantis speaking))

$/-is non-specific higher being speaking-/$

If Angels Could Weep Then They Would Cry I Love You With Their Tears

By Mistress McShep's Cerulean Butterfly Lover

_You used to captivate me_

_By your resonating life_

John knelt by Rodney, unconcerned about the people surrounding them. "Don't leave me," he begged his love, his fingers lying over the weakly beating heart in Rodney's chest.

"Have to... my love..." Rodney reached out and touched John's face, wiping away the single crystalline tear working its way down John's perfectly sculpted cheek. "Remember me... remember the... good times..." Rodney's breath hitched, rattling around his body in one long agonising gasp. "Remember I... love you..."

With those beautiful words, Rodney's heart finally stopped, his last breath stretching out into eternity before he was gone.

"No!" screamed John, the dam holding his emotions in check bursting and a torrent of tears flooding out of him. "Don't leave!" he sobbed, holding Rodney's body close and kissing the cooling lips, trying to force his own very life back into the corpse.

"John." Lizzie laid a hand on the grieving Colonel's shoulder. "John, he's gone," she sobbed, unable to keep her own grief inside. "Our beautiful Rodney's gone."

And Atlantis herself wept.

_Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind_

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

John looked into the mirror, haunted eyes staring back at him. Holding the sharp razor blade in his fingers, he looked down at the scars that decorated his arm. It had been so long since he had needed to do this, since the pain in his heart had been so great, but he knew he couldn't live without Rodney.

"Farewell, cruel world," he whispered, pressing the blade into his flesh and feeling his skin start to part.

/No./ 

John looked up at the voice, dropping the blade in shock when he saw Rodney's sad face looking back at him through the mirror.

/You have to live, John./

"I can't!" John wailed. "Not without you! Nothing is worth it if you aren't by my side to see the sun shining!"

/You have to live for me, John./

John sobbed once, running back into the bedroom and throwing himself on the bed. He hugged the pillow close to him, breathing in the heady male scent of Rodney that was still there.

"I can't live without you, my love," he sobbed, as he sobbed himself to sleep.

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

"I need to go back!" Rodney shouted into the white that surrounded him in his death.

$/-You can't. It could change the universe as we know it.-/$ 

"I don't care about the universe!" shouted Rodney. "John needs me, and I'm going to him!"

$/-You can't change what is done. You are still dead.-/$

"Death means nothing when it's faced with love," Rodney said, his love for John shining like a shiny light reflecting off a very shiny thing.

There was silence.

$/-Very well.-/$

A flash surrounded Rodney and the next thing he knew he was standing back in his and John's bedroom on Atlantis.

John lay on the bed. Sobbing.

"John?" Rodney stepped forward.

John looked up, the sobs trailing off. "Rodney?"

"I'm here! I came back for you!" Rodney ran towards the bed, preparing to take John in his arms. But his arms went through John, like the ghost-like phantom apparition he was.

"Rodney!" John sobbed.

"I'm still here. Even if I can't touch you, I'm still here," Rodney promised. "And I'm never leaving you again."

John smiled, tears leaking out of his eyes and reflecting in silver trails in the light of the twin moons in the Lantean night. "Oh, Rodney," he sighed. "I'm so glad you're back."

End part 1

Plz review. This is my first fic. Be nice!


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